Timeline of Most Events in the Li'l Hats Universe
This is a timeline depicting every event, hence the namesake, and although each isn't an issue present in the movies, it is still an event that alters or affects the world that the films take place in. The following should be known by the reader before continuing. As Li'l Hats Productions is not defunct, the timeline is always changing as new discoveries are made. Preface * There are three different universes. The first is where all of the movies are true stories. This timeline will show the first universe. The deity in this universe, G.R.R. Martin, kept records of all of these events on a typewriter impermeable to any event possible, including the end of the universe, so it ends up in the second universe. * The typewriter is discovered by a group of teens in Ballwin, Missouri in the early 21st century, and they start making these events into endless amounts of screenplays that become films. These films end up successful, both in the box office and by critics, and the typewriter is converted into a server rack, which happens to store the IMDB web pages of all of the movies, synopses and cast lists all. This universe ends from a man yelling so loud, that he managed to tear apart the fabric of reality, thus ending the second universe. Because the server rack is made from the typewriter, it survives, and ends up in the third universe. * The third universe is the one that I, the writer of this, and you, the reader inhabit. This is the universe where the current Li'l Hats Productions has made their grassroots start in the (almost) same Ballwin as was in the previous two universes. Timeline 13.7 BYA '''- G.R.R. Martin, a supernatural deity whose existence is often questioned, especially in the modern era, is born, and he "Bangs" the universe into existence. Along with him, Angelo is created as a counteracting force, balancing the universe between good and bad. '''4.0 BYA - The Earth is created, after Martin tried experimenting with an orbit in the shape of his head on Venus, but as we all know the state of Venus being a barren hellscape, Martin decided to give Earth a circular orbit. 2 MYA '- Hominid-like mammals evolve. '''1 MYA '- Martin invents human reproduction, as he found it an interesting subject to write about whilst he dons his bathrobe. '''~11,000 BC - Agricultural society develops. Humans settle down. 30 AD - Jesus Christ crucified in America, as Romans settle the North American continent. This leads to Mormonism being dominant over Catholicism, along with the traditional belief in Martin, G.R.R.-ism. 1000 AD '''- After a dark age, the United Kingdoms of America, a loose confederation of American kingdoms, unite, thus beginning the medieval era for America. '''1117 AD - Schneider invasion of Derpville; Events of Thou Art Pee Pee, I Art Bee Bee 1523 '- Collapse of the U.K.A. from Enlightenment beliefs. '''1763 '- Founding of St. Louis by American colonists. '''1770 - Notorious demon Kreepy Karl is born in the old Spanish windmill in St. Louis to a couple that apparently devoted themselves to Satan. 1830 'Founding of Ballwin by John Ball. Kreepy Karl takes residence, frequently terrorizing the locals. '''1952 '- Events of Gulag Movie takes place in the last days of Joseph Stalin's rule. '1971 '- Events of ''Dave Jones ''take place during nationwide drug outbreak, which is traced to East Asian triad gangs. '''1977 - Ballwin Bois rapper and Ebola victim Yung Aryan born on January 30. 1978 '- Ballwin Bois rapper and known Albanian enemy of state Li'l Big born on September 11. '''1978 '- Events of Johnny Tandrix ''take place during the "Rock Renaissance" when many legendary rock artists were in their prime. '''1980 '- Ballwin Bois rapper and frequent Sonic Drive-In patron 2hatz is born on April 20. '1993 '- Russo-American War starts between United States and Squeezable Communist Empire. '1995 '- Li'l Big and Yung Aryan drafted and deployed to Derstare, Zimbabwe. '1995 '- Events of ''Commie Hunterz ''take place during the height of the war. '''1996 - Russo-American War concludes, with both nations in severe economic downturn. Ballwin's economy crumbles. 1996 - The events of Santa's Workshop ''take place, documenting the outbreak of drugs in the North Pole and the rise of consumerism affecting Santa's mental disposition. '''1999' - The Ballwin Bois Story ''happens, showing the rise of the Ballwin Bois; Yung Aryan died during Ballwin Ebola Epidemic. '''2000 '- The prequel to the Kung Fu Movie ''trilogy happens, showing the misadventures of the Samurai. '''2001' - Kreepy Karl ''is filmed from a reminiscing Kreepy Karl, who shares his story of his encounters with two local children, who lead them to a secret Russian Police sting operation. '''2003' - 2hatz releases his hit single, "Go To Sonic", detailing his frequent use of fast food and drugs. 2005 '- The first installment of the ''Kung Fu Movie ''trilogy happens, detailing a disgruntled McDonald's customers vengeance against the establishment and the criminals of the world with an Irish Mercenary. '''2007 '- The first set of murders of ten teenagers in a haunted house in Ballwin. '''2008 - Li'l Big is found dead outside of a hotel with fellow Ballwin Bois member D.J. ChingChong BingBong either of drug overdose or assassination. The cause is still unknown to this day. 2008 '- The Great Fire of 2008 ravages government records offices, destroying the traces of millions due to a small fire in a bakery in Sweden. '''2012 '- The third and final installment in the '' Kung Fu Movie ''trilogy's events take place during the rise of the Doggy Town Krew and its deceased leader Francis Come. '''2013 - The events of The Yung Aryan ''happen, detailing Jeff Bonzo's frivolous prejudice towards African-Americans. This leads to his starting of a cult, which rapper 2Hatz joins, which eventually leads to his untimely demise in the streets of Harlem while trying to spread Jeff's racist cause. '''2017 '- The events of The Martin House ''occur, which is the second set of murders of six teens, recorded on one of the victim's cell phone. This sparks violent protests across Ballwin. '''2018' - The Franklin Corps ''happens, detailing two secret agents' trial and tribulations whilst undercover. '''2020 '- The City of Ballwin decides to demolish the alleged haunted house that led to the deaths of the teenagers. 2030 - More turn to Angelo as their guiding light, or rather darkness, as faith in G.R.R. Martin plummets drastically. '2032 '- The events of Odd Toed Ungulate ''takes place, during the height of the Trinity Cult. '''2045 '- The 2nd Qing Dynasty is born. The Chinese custom of "Ordering Simple" becomes common practice. '2050 '- The events of Pirate Pete ''takes place during the draining of the oceans and the pirate invasion of the Qing. '''2060 '- After a long-fought war, the Qing surrenders to the insurmountable force of the Pirate Federation, giving them immense diplomatic and military power. '2063 '- Almost 92 percent of the ocean is completely dried up, as it is invested in a worldwide effort to make clouds on the moon, which miserably fails. '2065 '- The United States ambassador is killed after not ordering simple. The United States declares war on the Pirate Federation, and with the lack of water on the planet, civil wars break out across the third, second, and first world. In other words, World War Three has started. '2070 '- The Jude Reed Show is filmed at 11:59 PM on April 19. '2070 '- All out nuclear annihilation breaks out at 12:00 AM on April 20. '2070 '- By May, all of humanity is dead from nuclear war. '2071 '- Because of Venus' irregular orbit, it collides with Earth, utterly destroying the both of the two. '2100 '- G.R.R. Martin's boredom leads to him making the decision to ending the entire universe. He decides to take a more libertarian view of the second universe, so he decides to try and not intervene at all with the next universe. Category:Events Category:Misc.